Blog Post: When Mommy's Not Happy.... No One's Happy

Ever hear this statement? It is a saying that has been in our vernacular for as long as I can remember. It is equally true when we look at looking for new positions and considering the whole idea of relocating.   Let me give you a true life experience which was not done the way I would recommend it be done. I worked with a transfer several years ago, who came to town. He looked for the right area, the right amenities, the right house and his wife never saw the house until they closed on the sale at the title company. His arrangement with his other half was that he made the critical decisions of where, how and why and she got to decorate the end result. In this case it worked out, but it could have been a nightmare . The worst thing for both sides of the equation is to hire the new employee and have them leave after six months because Mommy says enough is enough and return home. In almost every survey that has been done, the number one reason why relocation's fail is because the spouse and dependents can't or won;t adjust to the new area.     So how do we counter the bump in the road?     There are several suggestions that might help.       Spouse Involved in the Planning of the Move - From the point the job offer is extended the spouse needs to be involved in every stage of the move. This includes setting the moving time table. Want to see panic? When we moved to Florida in 1980, we drove down from New York for the interview and was made an offer on a position contingent on my being back to work within three weeks. That gave us two and a half days to find a place to live, drive back to New York, pack and return to Florida. Not an easy task.     Dependents involved in house hunting trips - Bring your children along on the house hunting trip and make sure that your tour includes a stop at the local schools and the recreational opportunities.     Locate a Mentor - Find someone at your new employer or in the new community who recently has gone through this process and ask them to be a resource for the questions you have about the new community.     Know the Needs of the Family - Make sure you take into consideration all the needs of your family before agreeing to the move. This would include the needs of your pets, elderly relatives and any children who might be away to school. Don't be like the parent I heard of who called their son at boarding school just before Christmas break, and said you know the key you have to the house, don't use it we don't live there anymore.     Relocation to an new community can be an opportunity for a whole new world of experiences, way of life and new friends. But if one part of the process is unhappy the relocation won't go well for anyone.