Blog Post: Today’s Winner was Yesterday’s Runner Up

     Last week I attended a gala event that honored Tampa Bay Business Journal's Business Woman of the Year. There was an overall winner, Jeanne Tate, PA, and several other category winners. I was a candidate for Entrepreneur of the Year. The actual winner from my category was Jane Small, Co-founder of Happy Feet Plus. In her acceptance speech, she shared some personal information that inspired me; she was a finalist for this award three times in a row, prior to winning it. Her example shows that, in both life and the job search process, if you persevere, you will often end up on top. Don't give up on your dream because you haven't been hired during recent interviews, the next great opportunity is waiting for you.

     There are countless stories of perseverance that are worth paying attention to when you are fighting for employment. If you have ever watched reality competition shows such as American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance, then you've probably noticed the performers who chase their dream year after year following the additions from town to town. There are some who are turned down several seasons before they make it onto the TV. During the final trials for the 2008 dance show, there was one dancer who almost lost her opportunity for stardom simply because she told the judges that, if she were to be turned down, she probably wouldn't return to try the next year. Based on this, half of the judges changed their votes in favor of sending her home. Fortunately, she made it through and was a great success. Performers are often conditioned to except rejection after rejection, but apparently it's because they highly prize the sweet reward of doing the work that they truly love.

     Most recently, I also met a highly motivated job seeker. Prior to the downturn in the economy, she was flying high at the top of her career and had been a finalist for several awards. She told me that, this time next year, not only would she be employed, but she intended to win an award within her new work role. I am so impressed by her vision and determination. I am certain that with that type of conviction she will accomplish her goal.

     When I "lost" the competition, I wasn't too disappointed. I felt highly honored just to be there. However, I was none-the-less, highly critical of myself. As I walked up to the stage, they showed a 45 second interview of me that I hated. I didn't like the way I presented myself to the camera. The next day, I kept reviewing the short clip in my mind's eye. I make a point not to get caught in this trap too often, so as soon as the obsessing took hold, I knew I had to put a stop to it.

     You might find the need to stop obsessing after a "poor" interview, too. Here is what I did to regain my perspective. First, I asked myself these questions from Master Motivator, Anthony Robbins: 1) What's good about the situation? 2) What's not perfect yet? 3) What am I willing to do about it? 4) What am I willing to stop doing?. These questions interrupted my negative thought process and caused me to focus on the positive things that were within my control (we cant change the past). After I answered these questions, I wrote a forgiveness list out. For example, I forgave myself for not asking for another video take and for not trusting my instincts.

     Job seekers tend to keep themselves "on the hook" for all kinds of things such as answering a question wrong, saying too much, or saying too little. Just name it. If this is the case for you, try these exercises. It's not that you really have anything to forgive yourself for, except for being human, but the more you are willing to let go of, the more you will be ready to take on your next great opportunity. I know I am. Today I'm a runner up and tomorrow I'll be a winner; please join me.