Blog Post: Business and the Pleasure of Parenthood Don’t Always Mix

Please allow me to tell a story that demonstrates how business, e.g. your job search, and the pleasure of parenthood don't necessarily mix well. I recently attended a ribbon cutting event at a local chamber. I initially turned down the invite due to watching my three (3) year old daughter, but the company's owner let me know that her event would be child friendly. My little girl loved everything including the beautiful cake. She made record time while finishing up all of the butter-cream frosting and leaving the spongy cake behind. She then checked out the food on my plate and began to gag. Before I could say, "Excuse me, excuse me-coming through", she had covered my favorite suit and the chamber floor with the purple mess that had been in her stomach.

My story is not typical and I don't think I could stage it again if I tried, but is anything ever typical or predictable with children? No. That's why I thought it would be a good point to bring up here in regard to conducting your job search. Please remember that you can't conduct phone calls with prospective employers with young children around.

In the past, the challenge of balancing child care with a job search was a headache reserved mostly for moms. These days my warning needs to be heeded by all of the unemployed family members who have been juggling everything in order to avoid day care fees. Just the other day, my male client was watching his 2 toddlers when he received an interview call. The noise was so disruptive that the employer offered to call back. That call never came.

Here are some warnings to keep in mind while conducting your job search:

1) Never record your child's voice on the answering machine with a cutesy message.

2) Don't use your children's names or other indicators of parental bliss for your email.

3) Never answer the phone around your small children (the bathroom is not safe either).

4) Call back when you have child care coverage fully worked out and you are out of their vicinity.

5) If you can't get free and clear access to the phone, try writing an email message to buy time.

6) Be prepared that when you do call, you may receive an on the spot 30 minute phone interview.

7) When interviewing, never mention your children, it's nobodies ;s business because they aren't;t about business. Even if you feel comfortable, it doesn't benefit you to connect at this level.

9) Understand that it is illegal for employers to ask about children. Even so, some employers still ask because they are concerned about your availability and reliability. If you are asked, don't get into specifics such as ages. Simply make it clear that you have family support and you all work together to ensure day care coverage at all times.

Last but not least, if you and your young children are invited to an adult networking event, such as the ribbon cutting that I described, consider declining and inviting the host out some other day. I've learned my lesson and picked up my suit from dry cleaning today ready for a fresh start.